We were made for each other

Yes, I can’t help but feeling so strongly towards you, and we’ve only just met.

I think we go so well together, like vomit and sawdust. I miss you like bog roll on the day after a heavy drinking session. I need you like immodium instants before the flight home from Turkey.  Oh, I’ve a fever for you, like consumption.

What’s brought this on? I’m watching a Romcom. You, Me and Dupree, no less, is on at the moment.

By the way, why are the heroines in Romcoms always primary school teachers?  Does that make a woman more attractive?  Like a playboy bunny emblem on a car or a tattoo of tweetie pit on a cleavage.

Yes. Yes all these things are attractive.