Thomas Bangaltar’s Bang Altar: Part 2

Good Day

I return. My name is Mister Thomas Bangaltar. I like to investigate religions. It give me a break from making the music. Some times when I play the music my bottom get sore from sitting down so I have to get up and investigate subjects.

My favourite subject at school was religious studies. I had a teacher with brown eyes and curly hair. He was short and thin. He was about 45 years old. His name was Monseiur Active. He was my friend. He said I did good. I like religion since. Monsieur Active he used to meet us in the sixth form block at break times. He used to be at the bars where we would go to. He would talk to us and purchase us Absinthe and Pernod. He said he was our friend.

Here is the Religion I have been invetigating: Jewism

Jews like god. They no like what he did recently though. They only like his old stuff. They say his recent stuff was not as good so they no read it. It a bit like when Frasier got a bit merde.

Jew god, he no like bald men. He is a vengeful god. He punish bald people by making them wear doily for putting the glasses on the table. He say bald men’s head reflect his face in unfavourable way from up in the sky. Like when you look in spoon when your mum give you your petit filou once you have finished your croque-madame. God no like this. He also no like artificial lighting, so he make all jew houses have lots of mood lighting in the form of candelabras. God like to be seen in flattering light. He no like superbowl lights.

That is all I have found out. Good day to you.

Respectful wishes

Thomas

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Thomas Bangalter’s Bang Altar

Bonjour

Bzz, bleep bleep, whizz

Allo. My name is Thomas Bangaltar. I work in a musical situation called ‘Daft Punk’. Perhaps you are knowing it?

Where is the Bridge? Do I take the first road on the left after the church?

When working in musics is not working for me, I am spendings time discoverings different religions.

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I hoping you will be sharing my goings with delight. I like to look and to discover. I like hockey and netball. Do you ever go to hockey and netball? Do you do the hockey with your friends at school?

In next weeks, I will be talking about religions that you may like and smile at. This week I talk about only the religion of my own, which is the Catholics Church. It is very nice. I like it.

In the catholics church, we eat wafers and drink blood. It is nice. A man asks us to stand up and sit down. Is is giving of the health. It is what gods wants. For us to have perfect bodies so we can dress up in Robot costumes and sample 70s basslines and pull the hot women. But those hot women must not use protection for sexy-time. It makes god sad. When God sad, he make thorns tighten round jesus heart. Everyone gets sad.

Catholics is also fun as the man who stand at front of church dress up. He no dress up like robot. He dress like a ghost. I like. He is my friend. My mum makes me go to church on Sunday. She does not let me wear robot costume. I sampled her favourite song and made out I made it up myself and release it on album to make her mad. My mum said I couldn’t wear Robot costume for a week.

Amities

Thomas Bangaltar