Adventures of the Doctor in 2006

As some of you eagle-eyed stalkery types will have observed, I’ve not been blogging much these days. The reasonage is two-fold:

1) I’ve got some godawful fatigue thing

2) I’ve been working hard on the book, a bridesmaid speech (imagine what my speech will be like!) and a writing project with Sherby 57 (stay tuned, it’s going to be immense).

I do feel incredibly remiss, in manner of an apathetic workhouse owner, so today I bring you a post from this month in 2006! In those days I was a bit more ‘blue’ and more ‘edgy’, thanks to the influence of Cannon and Ball on my writing style. I was heavily into them at this stage. It was only when I grew into my ‘Little and Large’ stage that my writing style mellowed and took a more eggy stance, like the one you see today.

Anyway, enjoy a rare treat from the archives. I should imagine I’ll be mining them for you every now and again.

28.04.2006

Dr. Angel’s Instructional Videos

Those of you who know me know that I regularly produce instructional videos to educate the unwashed masses (i.e. you) into the Angel system of working. I am the educator. I knock these titles out from my shed in the Bermuda Triangle (next to the Bermuda Octagon, just after the Spar and the burnt out pram) and now I can exclusively reveal to you the latest titles that you can buy when you get paid from working in the Carrot packing factory/sunbed salon/slaughterhouse.

Please send a cheque for £3875894594876.09999999 for each title plus one peseta p&p music factory to :

Angel Industries

Shed 99

 Bermuda Triangle

Wigan

the back seat of the car

 Level 42.

Latest Releases:

  • Need an excuse to touch girls up? Learn to tickle!
  • build your own eye of the tiger
  •  1 2 3 Bumming!
  • stopping radioactivity with paper
  •  MC Hammer presents chair bonkers!
  • Why reciting lines from comedy shows doesn’t make you funny by A. N. local radio DJ
  • Killing Chris Moyles> do it for mankind
  • Natural Selection: selecting produce made easy! Use the pointing method!
  • Dirty Ticket: giving blow jobs for ciggies
  •  Write songs like an adolescent by Hard Fi
  •  Mwah wha wha by Charlie Brown’s teacher
  • Tuba Monster Anatomy
  •  What is ‘old bumfun’?
  •  1 2 3 faeces!

And then, I just leave it hanging there. I don’t even attempt to round off the post and come to any conclusion. That’s how avant-garde I was in 2006. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane. I certainly did. I get a great deal of satisfaction in admiring my own genius.

Until the next time, party hearty till the breakadawn.

x