Adventures of the Doctor in 2006

As some of you eagle-eyed stalkery types will have observed, I’ve not been blogging much these days. The reasonage is two-fold:

1) I’ve got some godawful fatigue thing

2) I’ve been working hard on the book, a bridesmaid speech (imagine what my speech will be like!) and a writing project with Sherby 57 (stay tuned, it’s going to be immense).

I do feel incredibly remiss, in manner of an apathetic workhouse owner, so today I bring you a post from this month in 2006! In those days I was a bit more ‘blue’ and more ‘edgy’, thanks to the influence of Cannon and Ball on my writing style. I was heavily into them at this stage. It was only when I grew into my ‘Little and Large’ stage that my writing style mellowed and took a more eggy stance, like the one you see today.

Anyway, enjoy a rare treat from the archives. I should imagine I’ll be mining them for you every now and again.


Dr. Angel’s Instructional Videos

Those of you who know me know that I regularly produce instructional videos to educate the unwashed masses (i.e. you) into the Angel system of working. I am the educator. I knock these titles out from my shed in the Bermuda Triangle (next to the Bermuda Octagon, just after the Spar and the burnt out pram) and now I can exclusively reveal to you the latest titles that you can buy when you get paid from working in the Carrot packing factory/sunbed salon/slaughterhouse.

Please send a cheque for £3875894594876.09999999 for each title plus one peseta p&p music factory to :

Angel Industries

Shed 99

 Bermuda Triangle


the back seat of the car

 Level 42.

Latest Releases:

  • Need an excuse to touch girls up? Learn to tickle!
  • build your own eye of the tiger
  •  1 2 3 Bumming!
  • stopping radioactivity with paper
  •  MC Hammer presents chair bonkers!
  • Why reciting lines from comedy shows doesn’t make you funny by A. N. local radio DJ
  • Killing Chris Moyles> do it for mankind
  • Natural Selection: selecting produce made easy! Use the pointing method!
  • Dirty Ticket: giving blow jobs for ciggies
  •  Write songs like an adolescent by Hard Fi
  •  Mwah wha wha by Charlie Brown’s teacher
  • Tuba Monster Anatomy
  •  What is ‘old bumfun’?
  •  1 2 3 faeces!

And then, I just leave it hanging there. I don’t even attempt to round off the post and come to any conclusion. That’s how avant-garde I was in 2006. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the trip down memory lane. I certainly did. I get a great deal of satisfaction in admiring my own genius.

Until the next time, party hearty till the breakadawn.


Straight Outta Swansea: DVLA

Earlier this week I promised you to keep you updated on 123 Bummings! Exploits.  Well, I will not disappoint.

Earlier this year, Iona Tombola, rhythm guitarist/bassist/vocalist of 123 Bumming! started to get a Cheryl Cole type yearning.  No, she didn’t attack anyone.  She started hanging out with some of the main players in the hip hop/rap scene.  Not a week went past when she wasn’t spotted hanging out with members of the dark underbelly of the scene.  One night she’d be partying with Rob n’ Raz, John Barnes, and 2 Unlimited then next night, The Rebel MC and the Vengaboys in P-Diddy’s floating night club ‘Diddi-rama’.  Before long she was whisked away to Hillside in LA to record a track with ‘the Hip-Hop’s’ main player: Dane Bowers,  who produced this track. 

Do not fear, Bumming! fans, for Iona demanded that she play all the instruments on the track, to maintain artistic integrity.   Lead guitar and bass are all c/o Ms Tombola who also adopts her rap persona: MC Lizzy Duke.

For out foreign fans, a bit of terminology:

DVLA: Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (your DMV, American chums)

SORN: Statutory off Road Notification (a form you have to fill out to declare your vehicle is ‘off the road’)

Theory Test: A test of driving theory.  Road signs, stopping speeds etc

Special Brew:  A high strength, disgusting lager.

Swansea: Welsh city which hosts the DVLA.  

V11 : a form/reminder to renew your tax disc

Here is that song.

123 Bumming! Puce Tape

Some of you may remember that I’ve been championing Carlisle Supergroup 123 Bumming!  You can learn more about 123 Bumming! on these links:

A recent earthquake in the Tuba Monster Quadrant of Carlisle, dislodged an early 123 Bumming! demo known simply as ‘the Puce Tape’.  On this tape was 123 Bummings! first ever recordings where they performed a little known song ‘Gentleman’s Arena’, a tender song about and the expression of sweet, deep love by touching someone’s ‘arena’. We can hear on this early, raw track, Iona Tombola on rhythm guitar and vocals, Igor Biggun on another, er, rhythm guitar, and Hans Fiddling on blues harp.  The puce tape has been carbon dated to the Future, as their concept is so ahead of it’s time.  Scientists at the Angel Institute have verified, that there may have been some alcohol involved in this live recording. And lots of wood.

So listen and enjoy ‘Gentleman’s Arena’ here and the Shirokuma corporation remix, which is very good.

123 Bumming! met in a munitions factory during the second world war.  They were attracted to each other due to their mutual love of holding budgies and laughing at how stupid they looked.  123 Bumming like hats.  A lot.  They refuse to listen to radiators as they tell lies.  Damn dirty lies. 

Anyway, enjoy ‘the Puce Tape’ and look forward to next week where 123 Bumming’s Iona Tombola releases her solo single ‘DVLA: Straight Outta Swansea’. Until then, guard your Hoover Chamber and continue to be vigilant against high levels of sexiness.

123 Bumming! Do it Again

Those of you who regularly read this blog will have become transfixed by my tales of the band 123 Bumming! Of course you are.  Only a fool with some kind of mental problems wouldn’t. Many of you have sent me death threats demanding that I upload more tracks from their popular album ‘It’s all about hats and self publicity’.   Well, the wait is over Bumming! Fans for here is their latest song. ‘(I got) Wood’.


As you’d expect, 123 Bumming play their instruments with panache and precision, like that of some kind of foppish neurosurgeon and no hint of drunkness. However, this song is somewhat of a departure from their usual style. (I got) Wood is a crossover betwixt gangsta rap, hip hop and blues with a touch of Viz crudity. The result in not unlike NERD or someone else really good like that. Or even somone you can think of who is better.

(I got) Wood also sees Bumming! drop drums in favour of more random percussive elements like tambourine and woodblock. The result is a tune that you might use to woo a lover into your boudoir to watch you grate off the hard skin on your feet with your Ped-Egg.

Without further ado, I bring you (I got) Wood.

(I got) Wood
Words: Hans Fiddling
Musical concept: Iona Tombola
Rhythm Guitar/tambourine: Iona Tombola
Lead Vocals/blues harp: Hans Fiddling
Lead Guitar/Bass: Igor Biggun
Percussion/Backing Vocals: Bunty Snatch (new member!)
Percussion/Backing Vocals: Eva Gotalittlesomethingforya

What the press say about 123 Bumming!

Cast your mind far, far, back, a bit further, no, a bit further…jesus can’t you remember past yesterday…to last week when I shared with you the celestial music of the heavenly orbs, also known as the band ‘123 Bumming’.  Learn more about them here

Since then, the press have predictably jumped on the Bumming Bandwagon and listened to their album ‘It’s all about hats and self publicity’ and reviewed it in the popular muzak press.  Here are just a limited selection as to what they are saying:

They smell like gas and they ratch through bins, but what I wouldn’t give for one night of passion with these guys.”
– Trumpet Arm, Pole Dancing for Pervs

“Listening to their tracks make me want to go through Stefan Dennis’ bins and then punch the air in salutation whilst crying out into the void “Don’t it make you feel good!””
– Yabbie Creek, Erinsborough News

“I love this band so much, I find myself having to text them three times in a row without a reply. This makes me the cunt. Everyone knows ‘three times makes me the cunt’.”
– Mr. Eager Beaver, Eager Texting and Sabotage

“Is it so wrong to be consumed with a love that burns like a surface of the sun for this band? No, and I’ll fight anyone with my bare hands who says it is.”
– Mr. Bon Tempi, Hammond Organs for You
“Now that I play 123 Bumming during every waking moment, my wife won’t leave me alone. Thanks 123 Bumming!”
– Ebeneezer Goode, Holding Budgies for Profit
When I first heard this band, I had to cough into a packet of bourbons. This inadvertently resulted in the Death of East 17’s drummer. ”
– Walkley Netto, Mr. T Weekly
“123 Bumming are so wrong, it’s right. They made me divorce my wife and marry a sea urchin! The sexy fucks! I lost my house and my car, but I just got the fuck on with it!”
– The Noble Gases, ZX Spectrum Fanciers Almanac (Apr 04, 8947)

“I feel so sexual when I listen to this band. Like I might punch a bouncer or anull a marriage!”
– Pac-a-mac, The Sleeping Bag Tribunal (Mar 03, 1754)

“Fuck Me!”
– Spinning Jenny, Crop Rotation Monthly (Feb 02, 1821)

“123 bumming make me howl with delight”
– Cardinal Richelieu, Copper Sulphate Monthly (Jan 01, 1591)
And so, there you have it.  However, Shedders, don’t take thier word for it, make up your own mind.  Tomorrow may bring more music from 123 Bumming! so stay tuned (not literally, you aren’t a radio or a CB system. I mean metaphorically.  Apologies if you are a radio system)

Angel Muzak

I am an artist in many ways.  Even just simple the way I breathe or pick up a pot noodle oozes ‘art’.  Some might say my very existence is art.  I express this art in many ways.  Sometimes I write short plays about cops, copping off, and copse, other times I write music.  Some of you may know that I am part of the infamous quartet ‘123 Bumming’ where I write tender love songs and perform them in many mystical ways too complex for you to fully conceive. 

Today I am giving you the opportunity to at least try to understand my ‘art’.  Today I bring you one of my most celebrated songs called ‘Muy Caliente’.

Muy Caliente is a tender love song based mainly on the effects of potent physical attraction.  Listen to it, and make it the theme for your life.  Upload it it your i-pod device and play it before the object of your affections comes around for a swinging party. Y’know, the girl you’ve had your eye on from the Abattoir. Yeah, the one with the lazy eye.