Dear Shedders
As you know, I like nothing better than to rake through my junk e mail box looking for scams to wind up when I’m feeling in a particularly devlish mood. Here’s my latest offering From Sherry F. Bales. I presume F stands for ‘Full of shit’
Greetings,
>
> I know you would be surprised to read from someone relatively unknown to
> you proposing a sensitive business transaction of this nature.Apart from
> being surprise you may be skeptical and refuse to reply because based on
> what is happening on the internet world, one has to be very careful
> because a lot of scammers are out there to scam innocent citizens and this
> makes it very difficult for people to believe anything that comes through
> the internet.Most of these scams is about requesting for money to be sent
> to a supposed partner who is usually the originator of the transaction.But
> this is a different case as I will never request for money from you
> neither will you be sending any money to me for any reason.But however,at
> the same time,I must say that I am very uncomfortable sending this message
> to you without knowing if you would misconstrue its importance and
> possibly decides to go public.I would therefore be holding back certain
> information for security reasons until you have found the time to visit
> both the BBC and VOA news websites below to enable you have a historical
> insight into what I intend sharing with you,believing that it would be of
> your desired interest one way or the other.
>
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm
> http://www.voanews.com/burmese/archive/2003-04/a-2003-04-20-1-1.cfm (VOA
> NEWS)
>
> With the hope that you have visited the above news site,I like to inform
> you that I am one of the privilege US army officers who were involved in
> counting and safe-keeping of the stashed funds reported in the BBC News
> story.I was one of the five officers questioned by military authorities as
> also reported in that news story.My name is Sherry F. Bales,a member of
> the U.S. ARMY USARPAC Medical Team,currently in service disengagement
> process from Iraq.Since the war has just officially ended I would like to
> share some information about my personal experience and the role which I
> played in the pursuit of my career serving under the U.S 1st Armored which
> was at the fore-front of the war in Iraq.
>
> I will be vivid and very explicit in my next message but before I do so I
> will appreciate your sending me an email confirming that you have visited
> the site and that you have understood my intentions.This is to enable us
> discuss in a more clarifying manner to the best of your
> understanding,bearing in mind that the essence of this message is strictly
> for mutual benefit for both of us and nothing more.The amount involved is
> very huge but I rather duel more on the issue of your acceptance to
> collaborate with me,your capability,trust,honesty and reliability without
> which we cannot succeed.I do assure you that we both stand to gain
> enormously from the expected collaboration if we both receive the
> cooperation desired for the success of a transaction of this nature.
>
> So for us to commence send me an email confirming that you have visited
> the above news sites and that you have understood my intentions and also
> proving me with just your full names and contact address,your age and
> profession/occupation for consideration to enable me give you more info
> and details.Let us communicate through only email for now with the
> assurance from me that we shall speak on phone when the time comes.I will
> await your thoughts via my email
>
> Thanks and Best Regards
> Sherry F. Bales
Dear Sherry
Imagine my intrigue at receiving your e-mail. I am hearty reassured that you send me your missive saying that you are not requesting money, as, as a humble abbatoir trainee slaughter person, I have only fifty pesetas to my name.
Any business of the army’s is of the utmost intrigue to my febrile mind. When I tell you the following, heartfelt narrative, you will soon be sensible of why. Well, dear, Sherry, as a lady army solider, I’m sure you’ll understand. Once I gave a blowie to a squaddie that I met on a dating sight called ‘plenty of freaks dot com’. Yes, he could only message me in a strange letter-numeral pattwa: “how r u hunni? It’s g8 2 c u”. At first I thought it was prince (the artist formally known as symbol) but when he revealed to me that his name was Seargeant Asscraft, I had a feeling it wasn’t.
Anyway, now I have revealed some sensitive info about myself, I trust you will make me totally sensible of your intentions and my part in this. I can assure you that if you have any handsome squaddies, I would be more than happy to provide my assistance. If they have served in Iraq or Iran, I would be more than happy to pour soothing balms and tinctures on their twisted brows. Maybe an aromatherapy massage. No funny business like. I have an almost blemish free record. I am sure I have assured you of my integrity as a person. It may help you to know I am a person friend of both Chaka Demus AND Pliers.
Dr. Angel