he: we’ve been dating for 9 weeks now, and I thought by now our relationship would have gone further
She: er, well no.
he: FOR GOD’S SAKE LET ME STAY THE NIGHT
She: Er, no. I don’t think I want to see you again. You shouldn’t really shout such things in the middle of Macdonalds.
he: I thought we could BUILD A FUTURE TOGETHER!
She: I think it’s time for me to go home.
Creepy bloke drives woman home. She stands on the doorstep saying goodbye.
She: well, I guess this is bye then.
He: Ok, see you later
He drives off in his stupid audi. He then returns 5 minutes later and starts hammering on the door.
She: What are you doing?
he: Can I come in for a cuddle?
She: No. See you later. Bye.
World of Sheds 
Ha ha.
The following exchange was recently related to me by a girl named Jane, who liked licking my neck and stuff way back in the seventies when we were at school. An ex boyfriend of jane’s had called at her house late one night and she was refusing to let him in. All boyfriends of Janes are, strangely, ex-boyfriends. Myself included, though she does enjoy the odd non-intimate hug occasionally, and then she shrieks “No! But your married!” before running away leaving me confused and limping.
Ex BF : Go on Jane, I only want five minutes. I’ve missed you.
Jane: No.
EBF : We can make it work. We can!
J : No.
EBF : I’ll change. I can. I will. I promise.
J : No. Go away.
EBF : I only want to talk to you, I promise.
J : NO.
EBF : Can’t I just come in for a coffee? Nothing else?
J : No. Go. Home.
EBF : Well how about some casual sex then?
J : Fuck off. I’m telling Graham what you just said.