From the desk of Mr. Harrison Conklin, an e-mail

An ATM Card with Card Number:5428050011004432 have been
approved in your favor by the UNITED NATION,The ATM Card
Value is $315,810.00

____(e-mail address reads ‘shirley howes’__________

Dear Shirley Howes or whatever your name is, there seems to be some confusion. I remember having a similar confusion round about the age of 14, but it was nothing 5 years of intensive therapy in an oppressive regime couldn’t beat out of me. I can thoroughly recommend the Des Lynam Spade Sanatorium, ask for Doctor Binky Snuggles.
I am heartily glad you have approved a card that I never asked for. It felt as if the Gods were shining on me and had patted me smugly on the backside and had offered me a chewie at the local underage disco.
Please could you send the card to:
Major S. Cam
c/o Victor Ubogu
69 Little Walter Dorman Heights
Diamond Rich Sierra Leone

I await my card. I’ve got a playboy pink hummer I’m just dying to ride around Walter Dorman Heights.

3 thoughts on “From the desk of Mr. Harrison Conklin, an e-mail

  1. You’re so suspicious Dr A! I’d have asked Mr Harrison Round for tea and cakes already. I’d have entertained him with my ‘bandicoot balancing for a week on a red plastic stapler’ impression. That always makes people laugh. Or die of boredom. Then I staple them to the ceiling and wait for the next vic to come along. I’m cunning like that.

  2. I’ve been using the words ‘credit card’ and ‘insurance’ on twitter quite a bit lately. Not a good idea. There has been much blockage of sudden new followers. However actual posting on my page has led to replies of: “No thank you. I have no debt. So you can F**K RIGHT OFF.” (True re no debt, but I’m not saying it in a show-offy way. I have no money either.) See also: “How would you likeit if *I* spent the whole of today sending targeted e-mails to *you?*”

    (I used the whole expletive, btw, just thought I should be polite and that on someone else’s blog…)

  3. G, it’s true, I have a suspicious mind. I can’t go on with it, really I can’t.

    Red, yes, part of my blog code is not to use words such as f*ck, C*nt Dr*goonades, M*lchisodek of old and M*increst Car and Van Hire, 7333201. It just makes things far more civilised.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s