RE: READ CAREFULLY MY BELOVED

READ CAREFULLY MY BELOVED:
Dear Beloved One,
Thank you for taking the time to read this mail. My name is Walter Dorman, from Diamond rich country district of Bombali in Northern Province of Sierra Leone. I am the only survived son of Late Mr. MICHAEL DORMAN, the managing director of Sierra Leone diamond mining co-operation and transport minister. I am currently living in a refugee centre in Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso. I have been unfortunate to find myself caught up in a very difficult situation in Ouagadougou.
I know you will be surprise to receive this message, but it is of utmost importance to me.
Anyway, I am about to entrust my destiny on your shoulder if you can help me, it will also be of immense benefit to you too. This transaction demands utmost trust, honesty, integrity and most important, secrecy. It is only through the above that I will be assured of my security. This regrettable situation led to the killing of my parents and only sister (Nina) and the displacement of my family During the brutal civil war in my country Sierra Leone, my late parents of blessed memory were brutally murdered by the rebels led by Mr. Foday Sankoh, they were murdered with my only sister (Nina).
 
But I managed to escape to Burkina Faso, a neighbouring country through the help of the International Rescue Committee (IRC).But before my late Father’s death, he drew my attention to a box containing about Six million US dollars ($6 Million) which he smuggled out at the start of the war to a Local Bank in Ouagadougou, He made the deposit in my name as the first son and next of kin,
He also gave me the certificate of deposit and receipt issued to him by the Bank, which I still have in my possession.
 
The problem I have is that as a refugee, the immigration law does not allow us to open or hold operate bank account here, and the language barrier since here is a French country, I do not want to seek the assistance of just anybody for fear of being duped or defraud of my only livelihood, I have sold almost all my belongings to keep body and soul together, hence the Burkina Government is not really taking care of us.
What is required of you is to give me your full name, telephone and fax numbers and contact address so that I can secure a Power of Attorney in your favour that would enable you contact the Bank as the beneficiary of the Fund. You can then transfer the funds to your bank account after all legal documentations are done and secured. 
In order to make it worthwhile, I will give you part of the money. I have also map out 5% of the principal sum for any expenses that you may incurred during the transaction process which includes your travelling expenses, I intend to invest the remaining part of the money on your advise in any lucrative business ventures in your country, you may even act as my financial adviser if you are so disposed so that i can further my education. If you want to help, you can contact me on my email address (dorman.walter@gmail.com) I am looking forward to your immediate response, as I believe that destiny has brought us together.
Your full name
Your age
Country of origin
Marital status
Tel/fax
A copy of your identity
Occupation/position
Please i will also like you to contact me through this number+226 75 71 50 04 ask of Walter Dorman and i shall be very glad to hear from you.
Yours Faithfully,
Walter Dorman.

 

My Beloved WALTER
 
and indeed I did READ CAREFULLY. Your moving epistle brought me to tears. It was 6 full hours later until I could funtion fully and resume my occupation in the Abbatoir. My slacks were completely soaked from tears and other visceral emissions due to the tragic nature of your account. I hope you are OK? It certainly would weigh heavy on my heart to even cause the slightest furrow in your manly brow. Maybe if you google ‘LOL cats’ you would find an amusing animation there with cats singing the Cure’s Love cats but in funny voices. this may lift your flagging spirits, as only singing cats can.
 
It is indeed destiny, as my father too will only write his name in capitals. SIR SINGED SNUGGLES liked it to seem like he was shouting when he wrote his full name. He even asked the bank to write everything in captials on his cheque book. You see, we are alike in so many ways. Apart from the diamond rich sierra leone and dead sister bit.
 
Before I furnish you with anuy further information, I must know the following
 
How old are you…
what waist measurement are you
what’s the first album you ever bought?
shanks or Bigfoot?
 
Your servant
 
Dr. Angel Snuggles

———

Sent this today, shed fans. Will keep you updated when he mails back!

5 thoughts on “RE: READ CAREFULLY MY BELOVED

  1. Lord above! I wait with a baited hook as to the outcome of this moving correspondence. The world needs to know whether Walter prefers Shanks or Bigfoot. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight. I’m just too excited.

    p.s.

    I really hope that Walter googles “lol cats”. I’m convinced that it will solve at least 90% of his woes.

  2. Pingback: The return of Walter Dorman! « World of Sheds

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