New Short Play: Short Romcom

He: Why that’s girl’s so beautiful. Her eyes are large like the Nazca plate and her lips are like delicate toilet paper. Why, a girl so beautiful as that wouldn’t be interested in a bum like me. Sometimes it’s hard for girls to get past my job in the fluffy animal abbatoir.

She: Alright, have you got the time?

He: It’s half three. Say, I don’t suppose you fancy going out some time? Could I have your number?

She: Yeah sure. It’s 18934 88474 28282.

He: Oh Brilliant. Phone you later.

FIN.

5 thoughts on “New Short Play: Short Romcom

  1. As one of the leading lights in the world of the modern romcom, I have very high expectations of any new entries in the genre. Fortunately, you’ve not only met my expectations but taken them home to meet your parents.

    Your reputation as a concise Shakespeare is richly deserved. It’s like Romeo and Juliet only mile better and much shorter.

  2. I’m glad you found yourself satisfied with the Angel range of short plays. Why does life have to be so complicated? Well it doesn’t. Sometimes there aren’t misunderstandings with hilarious consequences. Sometimes life is straightforward and that isn’t reflected in so called ‘Hollywood Films’.

    Maybe this will inspire a rash of straighforward films like,

    ‘Renew your tax disc online’
    ‘Changing broadband providers’
    ‘Hanging out the washing in perfect conditions’
    ‘the Job Interview with adequate preparation time’.

    I hope so.

    • As a big fan of the tortured misunderstanding, I’d hate to see them disappear completely. That said, I’m excited at the prospect of the straightforward genre making genuine strides in modern cinema.

      I imagine that these movies would be fairly brief, which would free up plenty of leisure time for all cinema goers. Perhaps we’ll all be able to supplement cinema visits with ‘dinosaur’ dance lessons or Dragons Den-style buffets. A whole new vista of social interaction is opening up before us. It would be positively churlish of us not to grasp this opportunity with both plums.

      Do you have any plans for a film based on “We’ve run out of milk so I’m just nipping to the shop”?

  3. I did, but when I pitched it to Johnny Jazz Pants and Fun Key Bunch, at London’s pretentious Soho House, they liked the premise but tried to overcomplicate my straightforward pitch by suggesting that the shop was shut, the milkmen were on strike or the car had broked down. I crawled across the table at them, grabbed them by their shoestring ties and yelled in their faces “THE SHOP’S AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ROAD AND IT’S OPEN 9.00 UNTIL 8PM!”

    • Oh god, when will these Hollywood executives finally understand what the public crave? Johnny Jazz Pants and Fun Key Bunch are notorious in media circles for messing with the integrity of a project.

      The tale of your attempts to make a straightforward film would in itself make a great film. Although it would have far too many twists and problems. It’s a paradox.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s