Letters to Dr. Angel

Dear Dr. Angel

I blush as I write this. Such an imperitnent and frivolous question to one so important. However, my heart clamours for answers and I know such answers can only be dispensed from one as wise as you.

Doctor, for many years now I have been admiring a young gentleman. I understand he has a personal fortune of a million lira a year, but o! Sweet Doctor, I care not for this.  This young man has a heart so gentle, a word so light, a guffaw so warm, and a butt that you could bend a spoon on, if you so desire it. I dare say he would handwash a cardigan that you had just bought, and didn’t want to put in the wash incase it ran.  It can be a bit Russian roulette you know, dear doctor. He has a countenance that would imply that he wouldn’t go to a strip club and that.

My ultimate aim is to be the winner of a ‘Hot body show’.  My esteemed friend, Lady Spinderella, says the only sure-fire strategem to win his freaky-deaky hear, is to enter a show of such hot bodies. tI understand that you are an expert on ‘hot body shows’ and was wondering whether you dispense any advice on such a persuit.I understand you cam first in the Hot Body Exhibition in Crystal Palace, where many people were committed to mental asylums, after pure exhaustion upon looking ‘pon your very frame.
O Doctor, can you advise me? How can you prepare oneself to win the hot body show.  I know I have to be number one.  I know I need to ‘push it’ in some form, but I know not what to ‘push’ and in what direction. Do I push it Eastwards? What if this interferes with East 17? If I push it West, might this infringe on Go West? Doctor, can you tell me what exactly is involved in a Hot Body Show?

O! and a thousand questions.

Much love

 

Lady Salt of Pepper

to be continued…

29 thoughts on “Letters to Dr. Angel

  1. Gosh!

    It’s making me feel all funny inside. I hope you don’t wait too long before you dispense your wisdom. The madamoiselle shall surely be overcome with the vapours. I do declare.

  2. Pingback: Dr. Angel Replies « Dr. Angel's World of Sheds

  3. Pingback: Hazard of Parsnips Chapter 7 « Dr. Angel's World of Sheds

  4. On the first doe of sinclare, my true lips scented me, a parsnip in a turkey,

    On the tues doe of skincare , my tulip sensed to me, true fruited hooves, and
    a parsnip in a trustee.

    On prefered day of scrimhaw, my tu-tu censored me,free frank flans, true fruited hooves, and a parsnip in a tea-tray

  5. hmmm, the problem of the tu-tu. So frilly and yet so embroiled in the tradition of 19th-century Russian poetry.

    Monkey, could you please confirm the following:

    1. Tigers only attack when introduced by Dale Winton.
    2. A scrimshaw is a kind of voodoo doll based on “Plain Jane Superbrain”
    3. Parsnips.

    Thanks

  6. hi sherby. to set matters straight. 1.No , do tigers attack is a semi-historical/autobiographical series, presented by Dull(the badger) Wilted , on Stilted T.V . 2.yes. 3.I could, but i’m not sure if i should.

  7. hey sherby , whats der problem with da tu-tu`s hmmmm!? if you don`t keep quiet , then we send da boys round with the sharpened courgette and flay your grocery bill.

    Gareth ( the garlic press) Gates
    vice pres. The Corby Trouser Press Gang (Basingstoke div.)

  8. On the forged day of syntax , my through train tendered me, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans and a parsnip in a trilby .

    On the foiled day of shingle, my tumolt trembled me, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans and a parsnip in a tortoise.

    On the stick day of sandbag, my teasle tempted me, thick geezers braying, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans and a parsnip in attention.

  9. my bile forms a pillar like in the ‘funhouse’ as I see you gents captured in your, what I can only describe, as a homo erotic breakfast club. I feel content that World of Sheds can challenge such social conventions and answer the question, ‘can hazard of parsnips engender love between a man and his tiger?’. Yes, yes it can. And oh my god, my body shakes with such a thought.

  10. more like homo erratic, my darling Angel (m.d) . my body also shakes but thats a medical condition, or maybe the effects of over mulching out of season.
    mobile forms are often found in funhouses, so mulch cannot be made of this.as for breakfast clubs, i prefer to get my breakfast from the “super”market , rather than hunting for it

    • See, the potency of HoP is so great, that it has virtual strangers refering to me as “my darling”. I fear that soon the nation shall be captured in a romantic frenzy and stocks of smelling salts and fans will be sorely depleated in such heated times. We can only grit our teeth and soldier on, cheek blushed, in our own sexy way…

  11. I consider my homo to be fully eroticised. Hence, my aversion to tutus.

    I release the following statement through my lawyer, Joan the possibly resurrected Tractor: ‘I like short shorts.’

    Doctor, the thought of your convulsing body is enough to distract a man from his tiger lust. I intend to hire world-renowned bodyguard Chapatu to protect me from your quivering.

    You can read about Chapatu, here: http://sherby57.co.uk/2007/07/26/goot-crow-industries-and-global-influence/

  12. On the Sudan day of crisis, my tutor tautened me, saddened prawns a scriving, thick geezers braying, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds , free frank flans a, true fruited hooves and a parsnip in a topi.

    On the aft day of circus, my tallboy tainted me, aced mates a mincing, saddened prawns a scriving, thick geezers braying, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans, true fruited hooves and a parsnip in a toupe.

    On the nite day of cankers, my trooper tilted me , noun ladles trancing , aced mates a mincing, saddened prawns a scriving, thick geezers braying, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans, true fruited hooves and a parsnip in a teepee.

  13. that would be chapatu nine? i am virtualy strange but not completely as the thought of your cheek blushing affects me in an entirely normal manner. hey!, just a cotton picking minute. you introduce me to this world of barely congealed hot (body?) bed of spent emoticons and frenzied smelling salts. not to mention fruttery and cabbage fluffing, also i`d like itbeen put it on record , that i have never in my life been near a depleated tiger , in shorts or out of them.

    Major Monkey Myarse (retarded)

  14. On the tense day of Chelmsford, my triplet sired me, them lips a iisping, noun ladles trancing, aced mates a mincing, saddened prawns a scriving, thick geezers braying, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans, true fruited hooves and a parsnip in a party,

    On the elvish day of cleaning, my turtle strutted me, elder privates pulsing, them lips a lisping, noun ladles trancing, aced mates a mincing, saddened prawns a scriving, thick geezers braying, fried balled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans, true fruited hooves and a parsnip in a panoply

    On the twirled day of closing, my tophat toppled me, shelved doctors dreaming, elder privates pulsing, them lips a lisping, noun ladles trancing, aced mates a mincing, saddened prawns a scriving, thick geezers braying, fried boiled things, flawed cultured nerds, free frank flans,true fruited hooves and a parsnip in a palin-drome

  15. aaaah!, the harsh realities of russian tank tracks across ones back, yes i remember it well. if you take a sharp right, then second left down Stalin`s tu-tu , you will find them there. As to google being a god , did i say that or is it a plot from ” when tigers attack” or possibley the new single by that well known beat combo – Sprouts Abounding and the Spring Onion Five?.

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