The Institute for Grinding and Bogling

 

 

“You crazy babe, Bathsheba, I want ya.  You’re suffocating, you need, a good shed” sang Black Francis.  And don’t we all agree with that sentiment? Of course.  Anyone would. That’s why WoS is the 5th most popular shed based blog after

1. Right Says Shed

2. Beds in Sheds

3.  Sheds in Beds

4.  Lord Rhomboid and his Shed Division

5.  World of sheds
In other matters, I have a proposal.  What we need in this country is an Institute of Grinding and Bogling.  This Instiute will fly in action should anyone be wrongly accused of ‘grinding’ and/or ‘bogling’ or any illegal grinding acts can be addressed by the proper channels. 
If someone is incorrectly accused of Grinding (haven’t we all been?  I know I have on at least 100 seperate occasions, each one more extravangant than the last) an application can be made to the Insitute to investigate.  This will be done by interviewing several sources (usually, Cardinal Mazarin, Cardinal Richelieu, le Dauphin and le Roi de Soleil) and reviewing video footage of alleged grinding.If allegations are largely insubstantiated, and injunction and legal proceedings will follow.  The slanderer will be dealt the punishment of watching MTV’s ‘The Grind’ until they can correctly idenitfy all 68 components of a ‘grind’.  They will then be forced to pull out all their eyelashes and categorise them into either ‘fluttery’ or ‘spindly’. 
I put it to you that such an insitute will save so much heartache and wrong doing in society.  Soon we shall all be able to roam the streets without fear of facing an illegal bogle.  no longer shall we fear being in a nightclub where some inebriated young chap decides to lock you in a ‘reverse unsolicited grind’ (this is a move where a gentleman approaches you from behind, so you can’t run, and puts his arms around you and then gyrates suggestively into your back).  Won’t the world be a better place? Won’t it make us all cry out “P’Tang Yang Kipperbang”.
and now I rest.  I feel all flushed now, and only essence of radiator water can restore my senses.
Until the next time, stay safe
 
Your pal in all ‘dance’ matters

14 thoughts on “The Institute for Grinding and Bogling

  1. I hearby give my official support to your proposal.

    In 1983, I was falsely accused of grinding and as a result spent the next 12 years in a young offenders institute. My life has been severely affected by this miscarriage of justice and I can only think how thing would be different were the institute to be a reality.

    Please let me know if you arrange any demonstrations, rallies or coffee mornings, and I will attend with gusto.

  2. Hmmmm I really feel that I should make a comment here because that way I can completely dominate your “COMMENTETTES”. I feel so powerful to occupy the top five comments on your blog, even though it will be short lived.

    I’ll enjoy my time in the sun.

  3. Please, join sherby and I, and let’s outlaw unsolicited sexy dancing in public places! If I can get enough support, I will regsiter a petition with No.10 wesbite. Look, if Gok Wan can do it, so can I.

  4. i`m not sure if i entirely agree with all that you say,. i myself am not adverse to young ladys performing the “reverse unsolicited grind” , but as i`ll join almost anything ( the unfortunate incident at the girl guides is probably best forgotten), i`m in.
    sherby , does that mean genital rubbing is o.k in pubs,clubs and sheds abroad?

  5. thanks , that clears that up. now then , does the geographical location of the boudoir have any bearing on the rubbing of genitals and does one require a licence for this frictional past-time?. it seems to me , that such inflamitory behaviour , must be subject to regulation of some description, all be it in the confines of ones own boudoir !

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