A Sea Shanty

Dear sweet smelling WoS enthusiasts, all three of you.

Usually at this time of year I change my name to ‘Lady Freakathon the third’, join in marriage a Bontempi organ and Stefan Dennis and alter my internet dating profile to read the words ‘I like killing people with my bare hands’. I also like to pen a sea shanty from time to time. This particular shanty I penned on Crosby beach after being inspired by Anthony Gormley’s ‘Another Place’. Also, someone had written their name ‘Phil’ in the sand. I tell thee, I bet this ‘Phil’ character was rather pleased with himself eh? Writing his name in the sand n’ that. What a genius. In honour of this genius, I wandered about the beach shouting “PHIL!” at the top of my voice to see if anyone would turn around. It was also part-homage to the great ‘Phil’ himself that I just felt the pleasure of shouting his name, his name ringing in my head, his name filling my lungs, my every breath as I bellowed it out into the steel grey, heartless sea. Unforgiving, crashing against the torn, black, ragged rocks, bleeding, exhausted onto the shore…


 Er, yes, so this sea shanty eh?

A hundred Saturday Iron Men

There was a hundred iron men who looked out to the sea

 Each one privately wondering what was on telly

 One hoped it was strictly Come Dancing, one hoped for Top Gear

 but Top Gear isn’t on on a Saturday, it’s usually on a Sunday

 Heave Ho!

 Repeat until nauseous….

I’m sure you enjoyed that enormously. You may like to sing it to your mates at the abbatoir where you work.

 Yours, in all matters musical

4 thoughts on “A Sea Shanty

  1. Wonderful. This contains everything that I look for in a sea shanty and more. It’s quite overwhelming that you could pinpoint my shanty needs so accurately. Thank you so much.

  2. I find Crosby beach harnesses the natural energy of the earth, resulting in Sea shanty needs being fulfilled with gut wrenching accuracy. It must be the washed up johnnies. Sexual voodoo. etc etc.

  3. Thank you and welcome, kseverny. Wonderful artwork indeed. I’m a huge fan of the Angel of the North (which is why I chose this name for my alter-ego). I’m sure you’ll agree that it is no surprise that such artowrk could move me to sea shanty perfection.

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