…as international leather pants wearer, Ricky Martin reminds us. Which brings me on to the World Of Emotions. Emotions. They can be tricky things, but seeing as I have experienced at least one emotion in my life, I feel well placed to guide you through the complex maze that is Emotion.
Don’t confuse emotions with needing to go to the toilet, WoS enthusiasts! That’s called passing a motion. Something very different. You don’t want to get those two mixed up.
I will attempt to classify in a corollary (that’s for you, personal construct theory fans!) a taxonomy of Emotions that exist. Case examples, will of course, follow. Bien sur.
WoS Emotion Taxonomy
Anger The feeling you get when your tanning cabin token gets mislaid
Sadness A feeling similar to the feeling you get when a collection of arrows comes to rest around your personal viaduct. The feeling you get when you lose your job in the abbatoir/carrot packing factory
Happiness The feeling you get when the object of your affections invites you to inspect the back of Aldi behind the bins and you are able to violate your personal boundaries without fear of repercussion.
Excitement The feeling you get when your subscription of ‘Copper Sulphate Monthly’ arrives! Yay!
Bile The feeling you get when you find out that Charles and Eddie have been lying to you all along. They also read your diary. They were in every line.
Billowy A feeling similar to the sound of ken, fred and Shalimar.
Lust The feeling you get when you observe two angles that both exceed 67 degrees.
Urban Cookie Collective The feeling you get when realise you have both the key AND the secret.
I hope that clears things up for you all. Now you can go about your life with a smug sense of knowing this complex and fascinating world that is emotion.
In other WoS news: keep your eye devices peeled for The New World of Shed Fragrance. This comes expediently on the back of the hit fragrances also from World of Sheds: Eau de Rust, Crotch (courtesy of my friend, Flashsam) and ‘Gusset for her’. A press release will shortly follow.
Until then, I remain your humble servant