Q.  What is your full name?
A:  Doctor Angel Malchisodek of Olde Industries
Q.  How old are you?
A:  older than a member of Hollyoaks but younger than the universe. 
Q:  How would you categorise your style of ‘humour’ if I could loosely call it that?
A:  My, how impertinent!  I’d characterise it as social constructionist regency surrealism.  with a dash of whimsy.
Q:  Do you have a body that would make a grown man cry.
A:  Yes.  Yes I have.
Q:  what is your favourite passtime?
A:  shitting in burnt out tyres, caring for and breeding tuba monsters, knocking one out.  Laughing at people who are less fortuneate, misanthropy, philanthropy, hetty wainthropy.
Q:  are you in a relationship?
A:  I am currently dating heathcliffe, from Wuthering Heights.  Bit of a temper on him, mind. 
Q:  I’m thinking of a buying a sex toy.  can you recommend one.
A:  there’s only one worth buying, The Andi Peters Commenmorative Urethral Wand.  Or maybe a bottle of poppers. 
Q:  Can I see a picture of you?
A:  only if you want to ruin yourself for other women.

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