Q. What is your full name?
A: Doctor Angel Malchisodek of Olde Industries
Q. How old are you?
A: older than a member of Hollyoaks but younger than the universe.
Q: How would you categorise your style of ‘humour’ if I could loosely call it that?
A: My, how impertinent! I’d characterise it as social constructionist regency surrealism. with a dash of whimsy.
Q: Do you have a body that would make a grown man cry.
A: Yes. Yes I have.
Q: what is your favourite passtime?
A: shitting in burnt out tyres, caring for and breeding tuba monsters, knocking one out. Laughing at people who are less fortuneate, misanthropy, philanthropy, hetty wainthropy.
Q: are you in a relationship?
A: I am currently dating heathcliffe, from Wuthering Heights. Bit of a temper on him, mind.
Q: I’m thinking of a buying a sex toy. can you recommend one.
A: there’s only one worth buying, The Andi Peters Commenmorative Urethral Wand. Or maybe a bottle of poppers.
Q: Can I see a picture of you?
A: only if you want to ruin yourself for other women.