‘A Hoover called It’ by Henry T. Hoover. The story of one hoover’s struggle against cruelty.
- He hasn’t eaten any fibre for three score and ten months.
- He’s on his period
- He was listening to chaka demus and pliers threaten Charles and Eddie over a crossed-line.
- he couldn’t work out which size of butt plug was most relevant in our blame culture society.
- He got lost around the nodes of ranvier
- He’d just had a fag and got a bit of head rush, so he had to sit down and have a cup of tea. then he surfed the internet again, and by that time he needed another fag, and the cycle was maintained!
- He was selectively tracking through the negative behaviour of a tuba monster which caused a triangle of conflict.
- Punjab airways
- The Jesus and Mary chain
i await my thank you cards when you receive an A star in your exams! Then you can go to beauty college after all!
Your servant in all matters literal
- your parents signed a document giving me parental responsibility for you.
- You have been certified by the local ombudsman as having insufficient mental capacity to make your own decisions.
- I am a woman of old testament proportions. I’m all wrath and locusts. Baby.
- You want someone else to take responsibility for the mess you have made of your life.
therefore, logically flowing from my thorough assessment of the situation, I decree that you must carry out the following tasks this very month:
- revoke the Edicts of Nantes, Fontainebleu, and Milton Keynes.
- Bring back the poor law, the open field system and lets live like the industrial revolution never happened!!!!The spinning jenny only brought heart ache in Angel Towers.
- Ex communicate yourself from the Dennis the Menace fan club. But keep your hairy badge of gnasher. Bien Sur!
- Re-live your halcyon days by pouring fairy liquid into the open mouth of Joe Le Taxi, a mariachi, and Liberace.
- re-home a tuba monster.
- fart into a drawer and ask your boss to open it.
- develop an obvious squint whenever someone uses the word ‘basically’.
- take eight bottles into the shower, and shit down the plug.
- at your next professional development review with your boss, every time they ask you a question, reply simply
"two into one WILL go"
do this until they hit you, sack you or promote you.
- introduce a friend to World of Sheds. Hell, BECOME a friend of world of sheds!
Le me know how you get on!