Why the Jeremy Irons…

  • does Natasha Beddingfield sound close to shouting when she sings?
  • hasn’t everyone shot the cast of Hollyoaks in the GCSE drama-esque school of acting?
  • haven’t you shat in a burnt out tyre TODAY?
  • haven’t you handed in your dangerous dog as part of the amnesty in Merseyside?
  • does posh spice have a mouth like an  pre-wildies arse?
  • have you not located a ‘secret toilet’?
  • don’t you crawl to the photocopier commando stylee then shout "MOVE OUT MOVE OUT!"
  • Don’t you bang your bosses desk and shout "JESUS KAWOLSKI, I’M GOING TO NAIL THIS GODDAM PUNK IF I HAVE TO TURN OVER EVERY GODDAM WHORE HOUSE IN THIS SHIT HOLE OF A TOWN".  Then run your finges through your hair feverishly, throw a chair and leave.
  • don’t you answer the phone next time it rings and do an impression of Charlie Brown’s teacher to the caller.  The more annoyed they get, the louder you do it.