Dr. Angel’s latest instructional videos

Those of you who know me know that I regularly produce insturctional videos to educate the unwashed masses (i.e. you) into the Angel system of working.  I am the educator.  I knock these titles out from my shed in the Bermuda Triangle (next to the Bermuda Octagon, just after the Spar and the burnt out pram) and now I can exclusively reveal to you the lastest titles that you can buy when you get paid from working in the Carrot packing factory/sunbed salon/slaughterhouse.  Please send a cheque for £3875894594876.09999999 for each title plus one peseta p&p music factory to
 
Angel Industries
Shed 99
Bermuda Triangle
Wigan
the back seat of the car
Level 42.
 
Latest Releases:
  • Need an excuse to touch girls up?  Learn to tickle
  • build your own eye of the tiger
  • 1 2 3 Bumming!
  • stopping radioactivity with paper
  • MC Hammer presents chair bonkers!
  • Why reciting lines from comedy shows doesn’t make you funny by A. N. local radio DJ
  • Killing Chris Moyles> do it for mankind
  • natural selection:  selecting produce made easy!  Use the pointing method!
  • dirty Ticket:  giving blow jobs for ciggies
  • write songs like an adolescent by Hard Fi
  • Mwah wha wha by Charlie Brown’s teacher
  • Tuba Monster anatomy
  • What is ‘old bumfun’?
  • 1 2 3 faeces!

 

Hard Fi and absenteeism

Oh my beautiful, eggy, world of shed fans
 
I have been away, yea.  Did you miss me?  Did you wake up every night, eyes writhing in your head, sheets bathed in sweat.  Your clammy brow thumping with the question "where is Angel, for the love of black bile!  Where is that sexy minx?".  Yes, of course you did.  Who wouldn’t?  Anyway, fear not WoS devotees for I am back spreading the love like Jeremy Iron’s man-marg. My absenteeism is due to the following reasons:
 
1.  I no longer have a home pc.  The bailiffs took it because I didn’t make my Kay’s catelogue payments. 
2.  I found myself in a parallel universe after visiting Hag Fold Working Man’s club, where everyone had arses for eyes. 
3.  I was kidnapped by my nemesis, Dr. Binky Snuggles, consultant at the Dr. binky Snuggles hospital for big brave soldiers.  I was forced to work on the ‘Daddy kiss it better’ ward, handing out crayola.
 
so you can see, the heaven’s have been conspiring against my blogging.  Anyway, where the fuck have you lot been?  eh, Cortez?  Sir Clive?  Depravo?  Spangyland?  Naranja Gusset, to name but a few.  A girl gets lonely you know.  And when a girl gets lonely she is forced to reach for her Charles and Eddie vibrating gusset high waisted dancing pants and cuban heels combo.
 
Anyway, here is my question for this month:
 
Did Hard Fi get a 14 year old boy to write their lyrics? 
 
I mean musically, they write catchy, jaunty sea shantys, that be true.  but the lyrics!  What can I say.  Now I can’t quote them directly, for I have nothing to refer to, but for instance
 
"there’s a hole in my pocket, my pocket, my pocket"
 
and some shit about (and am guessing much of how it goes) " I had a girlfriend and her test turned blue/ soemthing something and I didn’t know what to do"
 
I think maybe Craig David might have been helping them out with their song writing. 
 
What think you of this?