AWoS hall o’ fame and roll call

Look

You know I’ll never leave you. Rejoice! However, I am increasingly aware
that AWoS is the new sensation thats sweeping the nation (along with
shitting in a burnt out tyre and spillage kits) and there are increasing
numbers of views of this site each day, and I continue to be amazed and delighted by its popularity. AWoS is now reaching levels of 42 and above in terms of msn spaceage.

Some of you may have found me through other blogs, some of you seem to have found me by typing in ‘copper sulphate’, ‘urethral masturbation’ and ‘marcus tandy, eldorado’ some of you
have found me via the updated spaces page. However, world of shedders, I
want to know you. You know all about me and my evil nemesis Stefan Dennis,
my unerring friendship with Big Nige and my forays to Carlisle and Wigano
centro, but I know almost nothing about you. That is why HERE I am starting
the AWoS register/ hall of fame. You can submit your photos to me and I
will put them in a lovingly created photo album so you can get to know the
gurning and straining countenances of other World of shed fans. You may
even recognise them in the street, spitting on the floor or propositioning a
rent boy. You may wnt to give a hand gesture to show your allegiance to
world of shed so that they know you. Might I suggest the international
gesture for the reformation of parliament? 

Submit your photos to kwonprincess@gmail.com and I promise to treat them
with the respect they deserve. You will see your likeness imortalised on
world of shed forever. What greater prize is there?  I think you’ll find there is none.  FACT.

For those more bashful of creatures, get a grip! Alternatively, just sign
your name in the roll call. This involves clicking your mouse, with your
sweaty, meaty hand on ‘add comments’ and leaving your name and 3 factoids
about you.

 

Yours may look like this:

1.  Once shat in a burnt out pram

2.  Is responsible for the uprising of the Luddites

3.  favourite word is ‘scamp’

Some of you have already e-mailed me to give me feedback on AWoS and I thank
each and every one of ye for your kind comments. I would also like to thank
those who have my humble website as a link on their sites. I can think of
Spanglyland and Rooser just off the top of my head. If you see any other AWoS links, let me know.

Looking forward to hearing from you

yours, with unerring love-spaniel devotion

Dr. Angel

Insult of the month

Insults just aren’t what they used to be eh?  World of shedders?  In my day it was all "gaylord"  and "spoony" and now its all like this (points finger up) and that (makes dismissive gesture as if drawing a line parallel with flat of hand and nodes of ranvier).  This month, world of shedders, I want you to try and get the following insults into conversation and bring back the richness of insults into todays society:
 
  1. "you pioneer of iatrogenics"
  2. "secret toilet user"
  3. "praying mantis face"
  4. "A psychiatrists appointment away from a narcissistic personality disorder"

Post how the conversation goes HERE.  If personal assaults follow such insults, instant world of sheds kudos will be gained, and I will probably take you out for a drink in any upon-lyme town in the UK!#

I also invite you, sweet smelling AWoS fans, to post your best insults here, so other world of shedders can weave them seamlessly into social niceties and we can all laugh at the pain and suffering they cause to others.

 

There is indeed, a prize for the winner.

 

I hover over the toilet in anticipation!

 

yours

 

Dr. Angel

 
 

My sexy a** has got you in a new dimension

and that dimension would be carlisle…more soon…telephone call.
 
And so I’m back, afresh from my phone call from Radio 1 northern irish bum boy  colin murray.  He of course launched into full Jane Austen-esque dialogue with me, and asked me whether I knew who Noel Coward was.  I replied, "of course, isn’t he in Emmerdale?", to which Colin reared up on his hind legs and turned into a praying mantis. 
 
Anyway, AWoS fans, yea, my sexy ass did indeed have me and others within a 3 km locus (that’s just how powerful my ass is, I think it emits gamma rays and can only be stopped by lead) in the fair town of Carlisle this weekend.  Anyone who knows the fair town of Carlisle must know that it is a truth universally acknowledged by all of carlisle inhabitants that the young ladies there give you looks of violence even if you so much as throw a a4 ring binder in their direction, not to mention a Andi Peters commemorative urethral wand!  I kept mine firmly upon my person, as instructed in the handy leaflet ‘Andi sez urethYEAH!’. 
 
Anyway, here are some facts I gathered about carlisle:
 
  • Carlisle is named after the isle of Cars off the East coast of Wales. 
  • There are three packets of berkeley menthol to every gaylord in Carlisle
  • Men in carlisle are all hopelessly in love with me.  FACT!  This is largely due to my overuse of the words ‘Biere du france’.
  • In Carlisle,apparantly, the girls "Don’t like the Argies and that’s just fucking that"
  • when questioned why, you will recieve the answer "no reason, I just don’t like them.  That’s that".  This will be accompanied by a look which can only mean they want to drink the fluid from the soda stream in your brain.
  • There are no laws in Carlisle, apart from ‘thou shalt not covet thy neighbours breville pie magic’.  The penalty is a date with sodium permanganate.

Have you been to Carlisle, shed fans?  Can you tell me any facts about it?  Did a young boy called Andy try and hold YOUR hand?  Or was it just me that he did that to?

 

I await, with writhing eyes

 

your servant

 

Dr. Angel

 

ps.  look about for my forthcoming publication in ‘Bumfun monthly’ entitled ‘When horses look like they are talking’.