A lot of Blogs are about pain, aren’t they? Terrible teenage suffering, crosses to bear, feeling misunderstood. Blogs with titles such as ‘If you don’t like it then fuck off" and other such charming epistles rivalled only by Jane Austen in terms of wit, vivacity and enchanting social commentary.
Needless to say, I do not read these blogs. I feel I must preface my next comments by saying I have nothing against the type of blogs I have described above. I think blogging is a wonderful thing for people to do to express their emotions and organise thier thoughts. But, by Bryan Cant, they make my eyes weep tears of text speak sorrow.
When a blog starts being about pain, overcoming the odds, dealing with isolation with stoicism, or even maudlin navel gazing, I switch off. Pain? I want not pain. I’d finally finish Tess of the D’Urbevilles (which I have been trying to finish for the past ten years. I fear I may not live to see the end of it, having lost the will to live, my life force being sapped away from me with every morbid paragraph). So, in the spirit of interactiveness, which is what I’m all about, shedders, I invite, nay, demand you to answer this very question:
What are you looking for in a blog?
A love story? Correct spelling and punctuation, nice pictures of fit blonde birds with huge baps? Poetry? Stories?
What are you not looking for in a blog?
Angst? People referring to contact with their girlfriends as a ‘huggle-puggle’ (REAL-I kid you not shedders), recipes, gurning pictures of unattractive offspring labelled ‘My little Angel-pie’ .
Tell me. DO IT TODAY.
Oh, and finally, acquire the stance.
ETA: Do you think my site’s popularity would increase ten fold if there was a picture of Keith Chegwin buggering his childhood cheese grater on it, minutes before being discovered by his house-boy?
I thought so.