Angel Art
10 Dec 2009 3 Comments
in Pastimes Tags: art, horace, Sir Clive Sinclair, World of Sheds, zx spectrums
Horace *sob* What have you become?
Sometimes people like to send me things. Mostly it’s soiled undergarments, other times it’s artwork they have done in homage to WoS. Attached herewith is a ‘piece’ by regular contributor to my live spaces blog, Sir Clive ‘Funky’ Sinclair. I may have posted it before, but I can’t remember. Enjoy it again anyway and feel free to add your own artistic interpretation. Here’s my interpretation:
Here we can see that the artist shows Horace with his head slightly bowed in shame to symbolise Angel’s irreverance to the periodic table of elements. Across his ‘head’ an intrusive zx spectrum appears, to symbolise Angel’s intrusive thoughts about the hardware. Behind Horace we see a burnt out tyre that represents the questioning of taken-for-granted truths from a point of constipation. The artist does not ‘deny’ there are certain truths about a world of sheds, just that, it’s a load of made up nonsense, mostly.
Sexy Names Part Deux: The Origins
18 Nov 2009 3 Comments
in Uncategorized Tags: I'm too Sexy, Right Said Fred, Sexy names, World of Sheds, Yabbie Creek
Cast your mind far far back, to the dirty, filthy, sick and twisted, almost perverted, mists of olde father time. Far, far, back, further, left…no that’s too far, your hand is on it, NO THERE…phew, yes. all the way back to the start of the week when I told you about sexy names. I offered you the unique opportunity to sexify your own moniker, to possibly make you more attractive to the opposite sex/object of your affections.
I have been overwhelmed by the three responses that I have received declaring the excitement of this opportunity. Shadowsans on Twitter was drawn to ‘Porgy Mc Yaya’ but feared for his personal safety as to the heights of excitement this could bring, and whether he could sustain it. My pal, Sherby 57 informed me, via telegram (he’s so modern) that he had been ‘Lord Sexathon Freakington’ but would forced to renounce his peerage as it was deemed ‘too sexy’.
I’m afraid, this position is no stranger to me. You see, Dr. Angel is not my real name. Yes. I know. Really. Sure, I’m a real doctor, but my real name is not Angel. I’m afraid my real name is too sexy to even say out loud. The Angel Institute conducted a series of randomized control trials that revealed that my name being spoken aloud, or even thought silently in someone’s head, is sexy enough to permanently damage the temporal lobes of the hippocamper in the brainium vesicle. You can see the results of this just by watching Hollyoaks. They’ve all been told my name by evil Nick Picard aka Tony. This results in symptoms such as GCSE drama style acting, overemphasis of syllables, over use of stock phrases “at the end of the day” and other hackneyed turns of phrase such as ‘to be fair’ and not to mention ‘fair play’.
You see Gordon Ramsay’s chin? Yeah. Weird isn’t it? Someone wrote my name on a piece of paper and passed it under his chin, much like the playful children’s game with a buttercup, but with heinous and chin wrinkling consequences.
In 1979 the European Court of Human Rights ruled that I was not allowed the human right of retaining my real name. I fought against this, tooth and nail, as you can imagine. The European court then responded by dealing the killer blow of passing the 1979 Right Said Fred convention which stated that any persons who may be too sexy for clothing, or their own name, that it inflicts harm on others, thereby compromising their own human rights, must be renamed a name of the court’s choosing. And so ‘Dr. Angel’ came into being.
Stay safe, report any high levels of sexiness to:
European Court o’ Human Rights
Right Said Fred Department
Sleeveless Shirt Tower
Leatherpantsville
Syndicat D’initative
Yabbie Creek
Making a house a home
24 Oct 2009 5 Comments
in Suggestions Tags: aspirations, diktats, existance, home, Ken Dodd, Owl, principles, World of Sheds
A house just sin’t a home until you’ve installed your Ken Dodd shrine in your engine room. Seriously. Some people think it’s the addition of an OWL in a BOX in the anti gravity chamber, but this is factually incorrect. Owl in box in gravity chamber=cosy, but not homely. When will you people learn?
This only strenghtens my belief than you should continue reading this blog for continued diktats about how to live your life. Right, I’m off, I need to clean the bog.
Love and light
Dr. Angel’s computer game compendium
15 Sep 2009 5 Comments
in Pastimes Tags: contemporary, existance, horace, Sir Clive Sinclair, Skelmersdale, society, World of Sheds, zx spectrum
- Horace Goes Weeing: The latest zx spectrum game about urine dilemmas. Horace is Drunk in Skelmersdale and all the pubs have now shut. Can you help him find somewhere to relieve his bladder and avoid capture by the ‘Bizzies’ (the Police)?
- Horace goes Keying. the latest zx spectrum game about anti social behaviour towards vehicles. Can you help Horace evade an ASBO?
- Horace Goes E-ing: Horace starts university and finds it hard to fit in. He starts to take drugs in order to endear himself to the ‘cool’ crowd and go to super clubs like Cream and Ministry of Sound and the Roxy in Sheffield. Can you help him score some genuine pills? Help him steal £6 bottles of water and try to stop him throwing his sweaty body onto strangers, proclaiming “man, this is just, like, totally amazing. I can tell we’re like, gonna be friends for ever. I feel so much love for you”. Help him beat end of level bosses such as the crap dealer, the night club bouncers, and the club dj (make him play Josh Wink-Higher state of consciousness) and the university halls of residence cleaning ladies.
- Horace Goes Me-ing: Horace starts to develop an inflated sense of self as one of his mates was in Hollyoaks once or something. Stop Horace developing narcissistic personality disorder by dodging mirrors, attending psychiatry appointments and stopping him from talking about himelf.
- Horace goes Being: Horace contemplates is own existance. Help Horace with his existential dread by collecting and chain smoking Marlboro Reds and standing in slanty doorways, wearing a black polo neck.
- Horace goes kneeing: Horace has low self esteem and joins a taekwondo club. He proves his worth as a man by kicking women and children at his dojang.
I hope you enjoy these excellent, contemporary games.
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